that other BIG BIG thing

I am doing the BIG thing tomorrow. The big, big, BIG thing that I've been dreaming of for months.

No, it has nothing to do with 'him', in fact, I didn't even make an effort to visit him today, THAT's how over him I am, truly.

This other BIG thing, is the BIG thing that's made me cry myself to sleep at night, made me ask 'why', and nearly drained me of all my faith. Thank God I held on.

I'm scared and a little bit nervous. Ever since finding out what was happening, I haven't been able to sleep. I've merely just lied in bed, basking in the 'THING's' warm glow. Anticipation ahoy.

But now it really, really is true. I didn't think it was, I still need to almost pinch myself (heck, I know that's such an over used cliche but it's so fitting).

I know I won't be able to sleep tonight again. I'll lay awake, looking at the curtains being blown too and fro by the fan (did I mention the humidity here today is fucking terrible?).

Here, I need to go I think. I'm going to down those tablets then at least make some kind of effort to sleep... ah, perchance to dream.

Quick before I bury my post in cliches.